From Our New  SUNNY SIDE UP SUPPLEMENT

Dilemma copyright 2005

Continued from last week:

.It was time to leave the Principal’s office and cool off;  Teisha did not want this silly situation turn into a big melee. She remembered when the son of Reverend Alonso got into a big melee because he had made a videotape with his “girl of the day”. Every Sam, Dick and Suzette was talking about it. The Reverend had gone to great lengths to diffuse the damage done to his favorite son, even spoke from the pulpit, but the more he did the hotter the public got about the rumor. True, more people were going to church. Then the local newspapers got hold of it and things went wild. Even the bishop went to the rescue. It appears that the boy was quite easily identifiable in the “raw” x-rated video, and to make things worse the girl went public about it and even spread the rumor that she was pregnant, which was true, but actually the father was a married man.

Teisha knew her community very well and realized that if she pushed her luck too much most of her so-called friends would have had fun seeing her embarrassed and gossiped like no one else.

“What did you say? Teisha...with Principal Green. He has no taste and she is ‘funny’ when it comes to making love....” She could  easily imagine that type of conversation. “What do you know about her funny love-making? You mean you also know?! Every road in town knows?” It made her interesting, though. For a woman of her age, Teisha had a very unusual curriculum vitae when it came to flings, flirts and propensities. She cultivated people older than herself, had friends of varied persuasions and knew quite a few closet cases. Then to make things more interesting for the melee queens she also knew who was on crack, on coke, ganjia and Viagra, and all the variations and combinations. The police would do well using her as an informant because she knew who “mysteriously” killed the girl who was found in a ghut a couple years earlier. That girl’s murder made her shiver because if the killer knew she knew, heaven forbid, she would be on the hit list. Continues next week

TICKLE MY FUNNY BONES

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring what evolution has created (or so he thinks). “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what it was, he saw a 7foot grizzly bear charging right towards him.  He ran as fast as he could.  He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.. He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even  faster. He tripped and fell, then rolled over to picked himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that moment the Atheist cried out “Oh My God!”...Time stopped...the bear froze...the forest was silent, even the river stopped moving, as a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. “You deny my existence for all of these years, you tell others I don’t exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.  Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a Believer?”  The atheist looked directly into the light. “It would be hypocritical of me, to ask You to suddenly treat me  as a Christian now, but perhaps, You could make the bear a Christian?” “Very Well” said the voice. The light went out, the river ran again and the sound of the forest resumed, and then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke ”Lord, for the food that I am about to receive I am TRULY THANKFUL.”

A Jewish student was doing well in school, in all subjects except for Mathematics.  So his parents decided to send him to a private Catholic School.  While there, the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the marking period the boy got straight A’s

So his parents asked him what motivated him to do so well in school he replied : “When I saw the guy nailed to a plus sign, I knew that they were not fooling around.”

DEAR LADYBURD

Dear Readers: Hope you had a great Festival, and is continuing to celebrate Heritage Month.

Let us resolve today, this minute, never to compare ourselves with others, we should try to resist this tendency. When we compare where we are and  what we are doing against the failures or successes of others it feeds self doubt. My parents always say never you envy people for what they have, because you don’t know how they get it.

When you do the best you can, where you are, with what you have and set your goals where you want to be in your  own time, not according to any one’s agenda, you will appreciate what you have, and be thankful for what you have achieved.

Be aware of the fact that we are all unique, and no one can duplicate you, because there is only one you. Don’t waste precious time comparing yourself to others, instead you should be developing your skills, perfecting your craft, and creating your own vision.

Please remember to write to us with your concerns, suggestions or comments at:   ladyburd_column@yahoo.com

Dear Ladyburd: I love your column very much and look forward to it every week now, but I have to disagree with you when you say that it’s ok for a Christian to go to the Village during Festival like everyone else. In my view I do not believe that a Christian should be going to places like that.

 Long Time Christian.

Ladyburd…...Dear Long Time Christian: Firstly, I must say thank you so much for reading my column, the Sunny Side Up and The Island Sun in general, we really appreciate your support. I value your opinion, and agree that everyone is entitled to their opinion, however, as far as the letter I responded to in July 30 edition is concerned, that is my opinion and I am sticking to it. I feel that some Christians are putting emphasis and focus on the wrong things, and to me know nothing about being a Christian.  Some Christians act Holier Than Thou and hate their brothers, covet their neighbors, are evil and do not do the thing that a Christian ought to do, by helping someone who is in need, being kind to others etc. I think that is what should be corrected, and focused on.

Dear Ladyburd:  I insured my vehicle at a certain Insurance Company and because of circumstances, I had to cancel the Insurance after six months.  I thought that I would at least get a refund of fifty percent of the money I paid. To my surprise all I got back was Fifty Seven Dollars ($57.00). I don’t think that is right. Nothing is said in their fine print about canceling a policy. I am really upset and think I was dealt a low blow…... Upset Consumer.

Ladyburd — Dear Upset Consumer:  I believe that if it was Life Insurance or any other Insurance other than car insurance, you might have received a better refund, but normally when you insure your vehicle,  I would imagine that people do not cancel their insurance, they would probably wait until it expires and transfer to another Insurance Company if that is what they want to do. I have not checked with any Insurance Company as yet to verify what I am saying, because I am pressed for time (no pun intended), however, I will check it out for you and let you know what the facts are either by e-mail or I will publish the feedback from the insurance company as soon as I hear from them.